Thumbing through a discarded Law Enforcement Technology magazine I was treated to a rare view of behind the scenes government and a social commentary. The articles promote police business while using terms and acronyms that won’t look bad in a newspaper or get them in trouble with a jury. The “Stun Gun”, for instance, is now a no-no. Hard words like GUN have negative connotations. Call it an “Electronic Immobilization Device” or better still, an EID. They describe it as a “less-lethal” tool. I suppose that this means that the weapon, (er ah device) still has teeth but it won’t kill (er uh cause the Ventricular standstill human reaction). The probes from a fired (discharged) EID puncture the skin (they call it probe placement) of the perp (subject). The electrical zap (pre determined pulse rate waveform energy) takes over control of skeletal muscular response (takedown). In other words: … muscles contract and relax so violently that the rapid work cycles exhaust the blood sugar and flood with lactic acid… Sweet! The article does offer a few disclaimers warnings like skin redness, welts, or small scabs, bumps which may appear from, what they call “signature or evidence marks”. Oh, BTW, not the fault of the EID but the body’s production of histamine. Sure.

Finally, the magazine is a virtual candy store of devices, tools, and gear. The ads feature thinly disguised items that you might find in mainstream magazines. A Palm Pilot is called an “nHand Citation Solution”. A set of wooden cabinets with drawers loaded into the back of an SUV is billed as a Mobile Command Post. WeatherTech, the company you’ve seen that sells floormats and vehicle accessories offers the WeatherFlector (plastic side window deflector) only in this application they feature a happy officer who can now “hear the evil–see the evil–ARREST the evil”. The message is that these bureaucracies have huge budgets. Business will really stretch reality to get a piece of this action.