Got it figured after hearing the same spiel from the hotel van driver. The conversation starts like so:

Driver: Where you from?
Guest: The state of ______ .

Armed with this knowledge driver starts into team sports dialog, namely school basketball teams. This is genuine conversation starter but it leads to the colleges that his children are attending and how he struggles to pay tuition expenses, works 3 jobs… the violin starts. Can’t help pony up a better tip after such a performance. Clever. Wonder if he has kids for reals.

DMV line behind a young woman sporting a black tattoo the size of a fist on the nape of her neck. A civil servant has come round to generally be helpful making sure that everyone has selected the proper line to stand in. A man has no cash/check only but a Mastercard and gets sent packing. Tattoo is here for an ID. The officer asks leading , “How’d you get here?” and gets an “I drove” response; which began a painful seesaw: If you don’t have a license how’d you drive… and “I have a license!” then “Whatcha need an ID for then…” She couldn’t make up something give a good answer and although he kept drilling he wouldn’t or couldn’t get her to hang herself. I’m not sure of the objective. Harass? Inform? Make an arrest?

The Toro refuses to start without a helping shot of flammable aerosol. Continuous full choke or she dies. Lawnmower disfuncion erectil.

I guess I’m spoiled by *** and **** Star hotels but it’s slim pickens here in South Dakota. The choices are Super 8, Sleep On Inn and their ilk. Ours features an indoor water park and tiki bar casino attraction. Shown is an hotel amenity; tie wrapped to the desk with fishing line so you don’t have to open your beverage with the furniture

Waiting to see if I turn green – – or not. I’m usually first in the breakfast line. The eggs and biscuits tend to dry overdone if you arrive for a helping after an hour or two or more of simmering. This morning I’m downing my scrambled eggs which are still wet and just the way I like them. They have an exotic flavor of charcoal broil. Ummmm. Unusual, but then again, I’m in Texas so maybe this is how the locals change things up. Having finished and while weighing the second course I hear another patron in the place making noise about the eggs being bad and something about having gone off… The head waiter takes a sample from buffet, makes a face, and within ear shot agrees with the suspicion. I see him take the offending batch back to the kitchen. I sit there pondering my now empty plate.

warning: critters were harmed in the making of this post
The exterminator service is sooo fired. Pesky ant varmits are winning the battle. I have found a temporary remedy and one that uses no chemicals or carcinogens. It is not harmful to the environment. Safe for pets. A torn piece of masking tape is quick and clean. Most satisfying, you can yell “Freeze!” or “Die You Gravy Sucking Pigs!” as you stick the sink and counter space.