Mrs. D is at the front door with an armful of borrowed crock pot and in the other her agitated boxer tugging. After transferring the heavy pot, exchanging pleasantries and the usual brief small talk, they begin to slide away lingering at a delicate plant along the walkway. ‘Oh! what a beautiful plant and I didn’t know that it gave flowers…’, she compliments. Maybe it was the dogs idea to stop there and admire the bush because he promptly nails it with a hi pressure squirt. I reply deadpan as if neither of us had just witnessed the embarrassing thing, ‘I think it will not be blooming next year’ 😉
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;-O
The dang dawg is testing out a most peculiar bad habit. He’s decided it just might work as it tends to pull my arm right out of its shoulder socket. While jogging alongside on his leash, and without warning, he has learned the panic stop. He locks-up all fours stiff legged head down and hind end up throws out the 98 pound anchor. After a very short skid, our tow comes to a dusty screeching halt as I spin-out. His goal is to pull out of the leash. Free. This ain’t-a-gonna happen.
I say you’ve got to earn your free to roam privileges. It’s must be something to watch as I connect foot to rear in attempt to re-motivate the troops. (note: no animals were harmed during the creation of this post. my running shoe has a very soft toe)
ow
Mainline maintenance tows the plane to the hangar and in the process manages to ‘snag’ the wing in the hangar door. Well, since most of the mechanics haven’t towed anything this light before, they don’t even notice anything unusual until the nose gear is ripped from the fuselage and everything comes crashing down.
Guest
The flight is only 40 minutes enroute time and the lazy-butt flight attendant isn’t budging from her jumpseat citing the short duration. Unfortunately, my hydration is riding with me in the cargohold. I can’t turn her in. She’d know. I’d be black balled.
whata trip
Pickup your feet lest you trip. When on the street it is wise to be heads-up for vehicles. So it was while scanning traffic, I hooked my left toe under a hazard lying in the gutter. This brought me down hard for a chestslide and the other usual contact points: elbows, knees and palms. Most think that a fall is a slow mo loss of balance. They would imagine time for skipping or waving one’s arms while transferring weight to the other leg and recovering. Not so. No time even for a tuck or roll. It happens so damn fast that one moment you are making speed, the next split second you are down. All you can do is lay there a second incredulous, thankful that you did not drag your chin or face on the asphalt. Now get back up for damage check and utter your favorite expletive and begin jogging again. The loopwire that took me out wasn’t even attached to anything. In my state of denial and disbelief it MUST have been a trip wire boobytrap. I had a look during the accident investigation. It was loose in the sand about 18 inches diameter. My left toe had inserted under the leading edge and weight of my right foot neatly held down the trailing. Freak. I’d discuss the psychology of embarrassment (wondering if anyone just saw). That’s a topic, but excuse me, I need to go flush the mud and blood from my wounds.
beauty is my bidness
Tarja is explaining to me about her other job. Mary Kay cosmetics consultant. She says they sell products for men too! Skin care, colognes and the like. She tests the waters and starts to describe a clear semi-gloss coating that would be good for my nails. Hold-up there, no sale. I’ve got calices on my hands and proud of ’em. I even manage to whack a digit with a hammer from time to time. But she’s the consummate salesperson and if she’s good at it the next job progression is senior consultant, then team leader, director, senior director and on up the hierarchy. Isn’t that a pyramid?, I ask. No. It’s ‘door marketing’ strategy concept as taught by the Harvard School of Business, she says as if mine is a common question and her’s was artfully composed and indoctrinated at one of their MK convention gatherings. They furnish you a car to drive when you achieve Team Leader status. And it’s not PINK! It’s rose-champagne.
W
Here’s how it went down — George W’s senior inside advisor is leaving a primo career appointment because she’s ‘homesick for Texas’ (!?) She says that she’s abandoning ultimate Washington insider power so she can watch her youngster play soccer? (I think that she just set the women’s movement back a few…) Could it be that Mrs. B decide that she was getting to close to her man and so she sent her packing? How ’bout this one: Recall several months back when El Prez was sporting a black eye. I don’t think that this is connected. But, what REALLY happened? Did he fall off the couch while gagging on a pretzel? Hah! I say he and the VP got into an argument that ended in fist-e-cuffs! My daughter thinks I could be a writer for SNL 🙂
atlas
Atlas Ink Company officially opened today! Their website Atlas Ink Company is in full swing. Pleasestop by and visit and tell all your friends about the great products and superpricing on inkjet and toner cartridges!
fob
Getting to know someone and what they are about, you usually start off with a ‘so where ya from’ opener. Tarja has square cheek bones structure and a definite Slavic dialect but she says she’s a Finnish immigrae. Her spoken sentences lack the ‘THE’ preposition so they sound like: ‘Hey Boris! You had better check (the) course’. Her husband is from Romania which doesn’t sound as sexy as Finland (comrade) so that must be it. His name is (was) Nicolei Porutui a freelance carpenter/construction worker. Maybe they thought he was non-english speaking or too scary sounding cause, he wasn’t getting any return calls / job offers over here so he decided to change his name. He’s — Nick Newman — now. (as in ‘new’ man) Clever fur-ners. They catch on quick to the ‘merikun way’
I’ll be back
I’m hanging with Henrik and Martha. They are awaiting their connection flight to Denmark and I’m leaving town on a 4 day work shift. Hey! I gotta idea, I chide, Howabout I call in sick to the company and fly away to Denmark instead… No one will know. I will have to call in home on my cell phone from time to time but will instruct everyone within earshot to speak english and keep it down, relay the local USA weather where I would have supposed to have been and the usual small talk. I think I could have pulled it off. I joked with Dede about my fantasy. She was not amused.