Flower child called from the shop saying I’m having to stay late … there’s a wedding emergency. Okay. What the heck’s that? They forgot it was today? Or. They decide to get married quick before groom has second thoughts. It must be fairly common. A google search turns up quite a few hits (206,000)?!. There’s even an emergency wedding kit. No it’s not a shotgun 😉
All posts by cs
honarable mention
If you like old cars you must visit ephemeranow.com. It presents some very high quality scans from original brochures and advertising copy. A few pictures are photo images but most were drawings as was typical in those days. The automotive dream could be portrayed much more favorably in a sketch with lower, longer, wider lines. Today, a computer can enhance the shot but then you needed a studio to get it right. (and a w i d e angle lense) The webpages view like a quality coffee table book. High art.
tough guy
I surprised a woman and her dog as I rounded a blind bend in the trail. I see hers wasn’t leashed either. I’m abeam already saying a pleasant hello when I notice her eyes go wide and it dawns on me that my lagging dog has popped into view. “Oh he’s awright”, I try to defuse any perceived anxiety. “Oh it’s him I’m worried about”. She makes an unsuccessful lurch. “BASIL will attack anything…”, and sure enough he’s now running flank to flank with mine who must out weigh this charger 2:1 easy. Well. I’m thinking. I know what would break him of that. Turn em’ loose!
food for thought
The FA is on a diet. Unfortunately it’s a fraud. Her son, the PA, ran a bunch of tests on her and said she’s a ‘train wreck’. Of the best results she was only border line. I spied her brunching a McDonald’s ice cream top heavy with chocolate, peanuts, and a sprinkling of M&Ms. She called it aYogurt. She explains in Tennessee twang that “my doctor’s got me on this no sugar, no pasta, bread, and rice deal”. She’s told us this and in so doing reaffirms her positive feelings toward herself. Ain’t it funny people do these inner mind games. I personally don’t think that any doctor can do it for you, or to you, short of gastro-intestinal bypass. The desire to loose pounds has to come from within. Yes? She and the FO made dinner plans. The Lady & Sons — a well know family style establishment featuring southern cookin’… i.e. fried. I couldn’t bare to watch.
who let the dog out
The dog’s owner was pulling into the driveway and Z-dog was going spaz at the door to be let outside to do the welcome, gee — I missed ya dog thing. I thought lemme help ya with that tricky turn the door knob action and off she bolted. While Z-dog was thinking YESSSS, Allison from the kitchen was beginning a slo mo lunge after him saying NOOOOOOO. Uh oh. Mybad. I knew that she was approved to go outside (and wouldn’t take off) but didn’t know that she was a tire biter with little respect or healthy fear for the rolling mass and inertia about to wheel into the garage. Man! I guess that would have put a big kybosh on our dinner party get together if I’d have got the dog run-over…
what to do:
when the Air Conditioning fails to come on even though commanded to do so by the thermostat and it’s getting mighty hot: Well, you could call a 24hr guy and hope he can come out right away, (75 bucks). I like the way B.O.U.R.girl does it— with a kick start! Of course these things happen when I’m 1200 miles from home but with a cell phone I was the tech support. Armed with a mediocre of tools she braved high voltage and mosquitoes on the utility side of the house. Since the hammer wrap method to the exterior frame of the unit had no effect, she carefully removed the screws of the back panel. S’man was also present as safety team and moral support and to hold the screws. The open access exposed the big black thing, a much smaller aluminized cylinder and a small black object. Holding the insulated tool end I prompted her to tap the relay with the wires. It was a careful operation. Some sparks flew. The hammer action just wasn’t getting the job done. Some proding and poking with the screw driver was required. “Don’t let Mom touch any of those nasty 240v wires…” I over-heard her say to her backup man. As if defusing a bomb she wiped her brow and used the pointy end to manually close the relay contacts. Over the line I heard some muttered words between them and then suddenly the machine whir to life and then whoops of success from the fix-it squad. Nice work guys! They will reward themselves with dinner out. Afterall, it would take some time for the kitchen to cool down and those dang mosquitoes…
fixing blame
You might have caught the candid video of the toddler spilling out of the amusement park ride? Dad saw ithappening too and went for the hero grab of his life. But, Ooops! Bad catch Dad! Put a little effort into itnext time why don’tcha. The Mom, interviewed by hungry news hounds let her say what her lawyer would haveadvised her to say, “It wasn’t MY fault!” Well now… these parents did happen to let the 3 year old kid goup on a big kid ride (un-attended) but would never ever endanger there child oh no… No way!
5 min diagnosis
The woman was a bundle of nerves, a basket case — she didn’t really want to be onboard and she said so to the flight attendant. Her companion wouldn’t let her change her mind and asked that we serve her O2 enroute.(she’s going to need that if she keeps re-breathing into that paper sack like that…) The scene started to play like a what/if training scenario, where psychotic leaves his controlling medication in his checked luggage and it’s wearing off. Luckily we were made aware prior to the point of no return and we called to have her interviewed. I worried that, if she’s agitated now, just wait until the gate agent/ramp sup descend upon her. That might really set her off. We gave her every opportunity but she didn’t bust. The FO inquired uneasily what row she was in — as if the further back (and away from us) the better 🙂 With everyone assured that she’d/we’d be okay we closed the main cabin door with a thunk. This is the part where they feel closed in and cooped up. If the panic attack is going to occur this is where it happens. The FA took a long hard look down the aisle for a last ditch assessment. No one bouncing off the walls and shrieking so… Here we go!
hmmm… what to wear today
Many of the media photos of Martha Stewart are from high society parties with a stock broker on her arm. For the occasion of the delivering of emails and notes and papers demanded by congress media event, she adopted a low profile look. Wearing country bib-overall jeans, big wrap around sun glasses and hair in bobs I saw her as a soccer mom gone shopping downtown and not as a white collar criminal. What a transformation! Good image PR.
serious kickin’ brew
S’man has created a special sauce that should keep things fired up through the cold ahead. These peppers are home grown. Here’s the recipe:
- 2-3 fist fulls of Long Red Cayenne and Jalapeno
- pinch(s) salt
- 3 dollups of vinegar
- water varied to desired viscosity
- pinch thyme
Pulse the whole works in the Cuisinart. Be careful not to be overcome by the pungent gases when peering into the mixture. Don’t rub eyes. Seperate the liquid from the mash. Save the solids to a seperate container as a chili paste. Bottle it and think of a clever name like Venom Xtreme or Widow, no surviors or Pain is good!
epilogue: We suspect spillage and residue on the kitchen drainboard. Overnight the ants came to scavenge and we found them there dead in the a.m.